are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
