Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
