When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
