Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
