If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize