if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
