Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
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I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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