I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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