I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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