Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
