just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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