in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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