Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
