I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
