cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize