i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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