I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
