Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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