Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have fence marks all over my body
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
