Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
