This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize