Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Found the puke drawer
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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