i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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