Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
