If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
