True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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