He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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