Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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