Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Alive.
So much puke
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
