Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
