He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
