of course. lets lasso hookers.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
