And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
