Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
