She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
