have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
