Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
