There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize