Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
