yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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