Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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