Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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(905): View more from Toronto

So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning

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(303): View more from Colorado

The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(225): View more from Louisiana

walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries

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(901): View more from Tennessee

This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.

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(928): View more from Arizona

HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD

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(973): View more from New Jersey

DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS

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