...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize