take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.