Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?