It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
