So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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