apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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