so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
