woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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