Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
