Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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