My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
