So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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