New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
