You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
