What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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