Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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