We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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