ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
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