If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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