In the future we'll all be gay
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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