Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
