i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
