i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize