you guys were way drunker than both of me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
