I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
