I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize