First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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