HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
