You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
