Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
