I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
