i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
