Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
