guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
