His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
